Gingrich Cancels Dominatrix Session

Possibly Tied To Televised ‘Beating’ From Fox Host

By Sloth

In an unusual move, former U.S. House of Representatives Speaker Newt Gingrich last night cancelled his regular dominatrix appointment, according to Goddess Sasha, real name Leslie Barnett, who owns and operates a Washington D.C. fetish club.

“I got a call from the Pool Boy, that’s the name Newt has me use when we’re in session, and he cancelled,” Barnett said. “I thought it was strange, since he normally comes over here right after he does the political talk shows, especially Fox.”

Gingrich appeared on the Fox News channel on Tuesday, October 25, in an interview conducted by host Megyn Kelly. Addressing the continued “groping” scandal involving GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump, first brought to light by a “hot mic” incident in the video archives of entertainment program, “Access Hollywood,” Kelly and Gingrich engaged in a heated debate about the media’s coverage of Trump’s alleged sexual assaults.

Following accusations of bias by Gingrich, Kelly said sternly, “I think your defensiveness on this may speak volumes, sir.”

Gingrich subsequently offered a revealing opinion about the news host. “You want to go back to the tapes of your show recently,” he shouted at the statuesque Kelly. “You are fascinated with sex and you don’t care about public policy. Now that’s what I get out of watching you tonight.”

Kelly laughed coldly and reprimanded him: “You know what, Mr. Speaker, I’m not fascinated by sex. But I am fascinated by the protection of women and understanding what we’re getting in the Oval Office.”

Barnett, the capital city dominatrix, said such a fiery exchange, in which Gingrich shouted and pointed one and then both of his fingers, would normally result in a phone call confirming his post-interview corporal punishment session. But this time, Gingrich told her would not be making his usual appearance at the secure VIP door in an alley behind the club.

“He sounded all out of breath and said he already had his ‘beating from the Mistress tonight’ and he ‘got out of it’ what he needed,” she noted.

Asked about the “Mistress” reference, Barnett explained the former House Speaker usually asks her to wear a blond wig and call herself “Mistress Megyn” during their sessions, a break from her adopted professional persona but one she is willing to make for the mastermind behind the so-called “Republican Revolution,” during which the GOP took control of the U.S. House following the 1994 midterm elections.

“I admit I’m a bit star-struck. I’ve been a Republican since ’94,” said Barnett, who holds a master’s degree in political science from Idaho State University. “Of course I mean a Republican in spirit, since I couldn’t register. I was only 15 at the time.”

She explained her sessions with Time magazine’s 1995 “Man of the Year” involve a scripted routine in which the 73-year-old Gingrich strips down to his underwear while she performs some light flogging with his own dog-eared copy of the Constitution.

When Gingrich stops sucking his thumb – their predetermined signal – Barnett proceeds to beat his buttocks with a wooden paddle carved roughly into the shape of Georgia, the state Gingrich represented in the House for 20 years, including as Speaker from 1995 until his forced resignation from the post in 1999. (In 2012, Gingrich ran an unsuccessful campaign for the Republican Party’s presidential nomination.)

“I give him some really good whacks while he’s down on all fours. Then I get in his face and shout, ‘You don’t know the first thing about Constitutional law! You wouldn’t recognize the Electoral College if it smacked you on the ass!’” Barnett said. “After that I just keeping swatting his backside until it turns ‘Dixie Red,’ his words. I don’t stop until he shouts ‘Reagan!’ That’s his safe word.”

“I’m not really sure what it all means,” Barnett said, shrugging. “The whole scenario was his idea.”

Barnett maintains strict rules for her regular clients, with a system of demerits for tardiness and missed appointments. Yet she has made exceptions in recent months because she realizes in this unique electoral season, with Trump and Hillary Clinton locked in a tight race for the presidency, the rules have been thrown out the window.

“I understand this is a stressful time for establishment Republicans. They have to decide whether it’s worth chucking a lifetime of mainstream conservative political doctrine for a chance at a possible future slot on Trump TV,” Barnett said. “For some of these guys, there’s a real internal struggle over whether it’s more important to remain true to your ideals or to get paid.”

She added, “For a little while I help them let go of their grasp on the reins of power, real or imagined.”

Barnett said she would probably go lightly on Gingrich at their next session.

“He pays a monthly membership fee, so it’s no skin off my nose if he wants to skip,” she said, adjusting the leather straps on the arms of a high-backed, wooden chair with the seal of the President of the United States carved into the back.

“Plus it gives me some extra time to get ready for Ted Cruz. As you can imagine, he’s a handful. Lots of issues to work through.”

(October 26, 2016)

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